Saturday, January 30, 2010

Solace



Part 1

No matter how hard I try, my fantasies never seem to have a happy ending.

I lean back in my driver's seat and let out a sigh. I close my eyes, trying to shut out the depression that was slowly infusing into my brain. Loneliness was something I never quite understood how to deal with. It always over-powered my will power and completely took control of me.

I'm not legally allowed to drive. But hey, India is not meant for legal stuff. Everyone does something illegal here, so who cares ? Atleast driving puts me to peace. Plus, just 2 years to go. Not a problem at all.

It's 10:30 am at night and the traffic is beginning to thin down. There's a dhaba right next to where I'm parked. Not exactly a dhaba, more like a chai-stall. I wave to a waiter-cum-chai maker kid roaming around the place, trying to attract more customers. He walks to me and I ask him to bring me one cup of tea. Although I'm not really fond of tea, I just need something hot to go down my throat.

Within a few minutes, I'm holding a fresh cup, no, kuddad of tea and the heat makes me feel better, atleast to a small extent. Why am I so sad ? Frankly, I'm not really sure. It's alot of things all mixed up together. You know, like the times when you can't help but say, "Shit happens"

Let's try to make a list:

School
Financial problems
Emotional problems
Dealing with the past
Everyday crisis
Home-related crisis

Etc.

Coming back to where I started this thought process from. None of my fantasies seem to have a happy ending. I wonder whether it's some kind of an odd future prediction or just my fucked up brain screwing my thoughts up.

I was about to delve deeper into this thought when my cell phone rang. It's mom. She wants me back. I sigh once again and with great effort, sit up in my seat. I straighten up my seat, pull it forward and insert the key into the ignition. I don't believe in seat belts. They don't really help. Getting the car into gear, I hit the accelerator and head home.

*********************

Please do not copy my work and claim it as yours. That's a pretty nasty thing to do. If this is posted elsewhere, do credit me.

Thanks. Please wait for the next chapter, it will be up soon.

P.S - It's first person narration. That character isn't 'me'.



Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Illusion

I look around and see greenery everywhere. The purity of the sight engulfs me, takes over my soul, and I feel like I'm flying. I outstretch my arms and allow myself to surrender to this blissful feeling. I let the breeze take me away with it. It's a great feeling, like I've achieved everything I've always wanted to. It feels as though all the wordly problems have ceased to exist at once.

I can hear my mother laughing somewhere, her laughter is like music to my ears. I can see my father's face smiling down at me, with his eyes full of nothing but love. A warm feeling begins to tingle my heart. It is as though I've reached paradise.

Then I opened my eyes. And the illusion broke. There is no longer any greenery around me, the breeze doesn't engulf me, I can't sense my parents around me.

I'm back to the real world.