Part 15

"Mom, Do I have to do this? I mean, can't you give me one last chance to face this on my own?" I pleaded in a desperate voice.

"No" she said. And that was it. I knew that her 'No' strictly meant 'No'. Nothing doing. She drove with a straight face, her relentless calm and subtle conviction abating my 0.00001% hope of convincing her to take us back.

With that last try failing, I sighed and leaned back in my seat. It seemed that I really had no choice. We were heading towards Defense Colony, where the AA meeting was being held in a church. I won't be sitting with mom though, there's another group called 'Alateen' which consists of only teenagers who have been subjected to alcohol abuse in their families and/or have had a drinking problem themselves.

I stared outside the car window for the rest of the ride. A sense of nervousness mixed with apprehension and fear was lingering in the pit of my stomach. Denial was definitely a better state to be in. That stupid goddamned workshop ruined it. All was pretty much well before it happened.

The ride lasted only for a few precious moments, and then we were there. I took and deep breath and stepped out. My mom reached out and firmly held my hand, knowing that I was probably turning into a pile of goo inside, but her expression hadn't changed much. She literally pulled me towards the church.

I saw a group of teens sitting on plastic chairs in a circle. They were happily chatting away about something with plastic cups of chai comfortably resting between their palms before the meeting began.

"I'm going upstairs, our meetings are held on the top floor" my mom said, her tone gentler now, "Will you be okay?"

Ofcourse I won't be okay, but I said, "Yeah. Don't worry", and managed to give her a faint smile. She let go of my hand and walked away. I took another deep breath and walked towards the group. They noticed me and one person, who seemed to be the only adult, asked, "Hi, you a new member?"

I quietly cleared my throat and said, "Um, yes"

His face broke into a smile as he said, "Come sit na, meeting shuru hone waali hai. You want some chai?"

I didn't know how to respond to such, shall I say, quick welcome. Everyone was smiling at me. Their smiles seemed welcoming, and the man's words calmed me down a bit. I walked towards a spare chair and sat down, "No thanks. I'm fine"

He clapped his hands together and said, "To meeting start karein?", everyone nodded, and he continued, "Okay. So I'm Amit and I'm going to be chairing this meeting"

"Hi Amit!", everyone said in unison.

"I want to share an incident which is perhaps the most ridiculous stunt I ever pulled in my life. I guess alcoholism drives people nuts after a point of time. Baba, as usual, raat ko late aaye. Family dysfunctional thi, to maa ne dekh kar bhi undekha kar diya ki woh pee kar aaye hain. Mujhe unki taraf itni resentment hoti thi ki kabhi kabhi mujhe unhe maarne ka man karta tha. As usual, we had khana and retired to our beds. Thankful that he didn't hit maa that night, I went to bed. Lekin us din neend nahi aayi, upar se main bada impulsive tha. Gussa control nahi hota tha. A memory of baba beating maa came to mind, and that was it. I decided to leave my house"

I didn't realize when I got so involved in his story that I could visualize all the events in my head. And somehow, my past didn't threaten to plague my mind while he was sharing.

"Raat ke 3 baje mein dilli ki sadkon pe akela ghoom raha tha. Sardi ka mausam tha, lekin mere jaisa sanki insaan karne se pehle nahi, karne ke baad sochta hai. I sat down on a foothpath and watched the cars speed by. Subah ke paanch baje tak wahaan baitha raha, lekin saade paanch baje mujhe laga ki boss, ab thand lag rahi hai aur bhook bhi, chalo ghar waapis chalte hain"

Everyone lightly laughed at that. I couldn't believe with the ease with which this man was sharing his story. No one was teary eyed, or sympathetic. To someone else, this may sound like a very painful memory, but to these people, it was that familiar, mutual feeling of utter helplessness that lead them to do something absolutely ridiculous. All of them had done something like this in their lives, and now that they're sitting here talking about it, they realize how genuinely funny it must have been.

Infact, I could vaguely recall one of my own memories when I tried to empty all my dad's beer bottles into the pot and re-fill them with apple juice. I smiled.

"So I went back, and quietly settled into my bed. My parents didn't even realize that I'd been out half the night", and with that, he completed his sharing and everyone clapped for him. If nothing else, this man had adorned each face with a genuine smile. Including mine.

_______________________________

"Vivek, you've become so grown up! What class are you in?" exclaimed his mami. Vivek gave her a fake smile, Yeah, that tends to happen you know, "11th"

"Arre, beta bada ho gaya" she said with a huge grin plastered on her face as she settled down in the sofa. My mom chipped in and said, "kids grow up very fast nowadays, na?"

"Totally. I mean look Alka's daughter Ritu, she's in BA first year now.....'" and so it went. It didn't take much time for Vivek to notice that he was now completely forgotten, and his presence was no longer required in the room. He quietly slipped out without being noticed as his smaller cousins kept running around the room, which was enough to buy him a moment.

He sighed and shook his head. It was always like this. His relatives would come in pairs, with 2 kids dangling from their arms. The women would sit in the sitting room and gossip, while the men would sit in the garden and talk about cricket or the latest political news. And the kids, well, they roamed around pretty much everywhere. With Vivek being the eldest, and all others being less than 9 yrs old, the bunch was nothing less than a riot.

He was about to enter his room when his dad saw him and called out, "Arre Vivek, zara yahaan aana beta"

What the.., why can't I be in peace just for a while?, He turned around and slowly walked towards the garden, knowing the exact words that would be exchanged in the upcoming conversation.

"Yes dad?" He said in a familiar monotone. Before his dad could speak, his mama, who was also sitting there, spoke up, "Arre bhai, humare saath bhi baith jaya karo. Looks like you've forgotten your mama, kyun?"

I would if I had the choice, "No mama. It's not like that. I just have too much homework today and it's all pending", he said instead.

"How much homework do you get? Aaj kal yeh school wale bhi na, baccho ko maarke chhodenge" he said, contemptuously. Vivek nodded in agreement, hoping that his assent would grant him an exit ticket.

Apparently not. His mama said, "Anyway, we'll let you go in a while. Come have a seat"

Which means half an hour gone waste, Vivek sighed and sat down. He was asked the usual few questions like 'How're your results? What's your rank? What sports do you play? etc etc', and then he was again, forgotten as his mama and dad started talking about some other topic. He listened to their discussion for a while before saying, "Um, I think I should go. Too much homework"

They nodded briefly and went back to their conversation. Vivek got up and walked back to his room, shutting the door behind. He laid down on his bed and stared the ceiling. As long as the door was shut, it would conceal him from all the drama unfolding beyond. He could never become a part of it in spite of having born and brought up in such an atmosphere.

It all radiated a feeling of 'fakeness'. Nothing seemed genuine. Did these relatives really love him? No. Did they really care for him? No. Then why pretend? Just to retain the idea of a 'One big happy family' for a little longer?

He didn't know. And he didn't care. All he knew was that this was not the place he was meant to be in. He was meant to be in a place where he would really feel loved, and genuinely happy.

Part 14

I sighed, “Mom, I swear, it didn’t bother me. I just felt a little faint in the middle –”

“Why? That’s what I’ve been asking you since ages! Why did you feel faint? Look, I know it troubled you Naina, there’s no hiding it. You’ve always swept the issue under the carpet. It’s not going to work anymore, alright? You need to start dealing with this”, said mom in one breath. Nandita had told her that I had looked pretty ill during the workshop, and that had really perturbed her.

I sighed again, “Look mom, I don’t know how to convince you, okay? But all I have to say is that I’m fine. And nothing happened in the workshop”

“Well you can’t convince me. So you might as well can stop trying. You’re coming to the meetings with me and that’s final” she said it with a finality that scared me.

“But mom-”

“No buts. You’ve avoided this for a long time Naina, you can’t find your way around the problem this time. Face it”

I stared at her strict face and saw a glimpse of fear beyond the strictness. I knew that she was extremely scared when it came to alcoholism and me, she always feared that I might end up getting addicted to alcohol too. And in spite of having discussed this many times, she knew that somewhere, I still hadn’t coped with the past.

Struggling to control my disappointment, I softly nodded, mumbled something like, “Be back in an hour” and walked out of the house. I needed some time alone, some time to think about this mess. Without thinking, I got into my car and made my way towards my favorite chai stall. That chai stall is like my sacred little place. When everything seems screwed, that stall is something I can always hang on to.

___________________________________

Nandita glanced at her mom, she looked tired and exhausted. She knew it wasn’t because of work, it was because she was tired of living in a dead relationship. Dead, because neither of her parents seemed willing enough to breath any life into it. Her dad didn’t look any better. He kept pinching the bridge of his nose between his eyes every now and then.

There was pin drop silence in the dining room, it almost felt like a crime to utter even a single word. Apart from the occasional sound of the cutlery clinking now and then, there was nothing to be heard. Dinner at Nandita’s place was generally a silent affair, and the silence wasn’t comfortable. It was killing.

A sudden wave of rage washed through Nandita and she put her fork down with a loud bang. Her mother looked up from her plate, startled, “What’s wrong Nandita? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Terrific. Does that make you happy?” replied Nandita in a tone dripping with sarcasm. She was fighting to control her rage.

Her mother, taken aback by her sudden outburst, sat upright in her chair and stared at Nandita for a moment, “Nandita, Is everything-”

“Shut up! Okay? Both of you, just – just cut the ‘We’re fine’ act, alright? I’m bloody sick and tired of watching you two wishing nothing more than to strangle each other, day in and day out! Am I even visible to either of you? Do I exist in your life? Or maybe feeding is what parents’ responsibilities are limited to. Right?”

Nandita had now stood up, with her arms by her side, heaving. Her fingers were tightly curled into fists and tears brimmed in her eyes. Her parents, now completely shocked at their daughter’s outburst, were finding it hard to say anything. After a moment had passed, her dad stood up from his chair and walked towards Nandita, “Beta, listen to me-”

“Dont ‘beta’ me!” she yelled and moved a step back, “You have no idea what I’ve been going through all these months. There was a time when I contemplated running away from this hell! But why would you notice? You were too busy biting each other’s heads off!”

“Nandita, you’re misunderstanding us beta, we’re fine-” started her mother, but was again cut off by Nandita.

“NOTHING’S FINE!” hollered Nandita. She had completely lost control of herself now. All the emotions that she had bottled up inside, everything that she had always wanted to say but couldn’t, was now coming out with an unstoppable force that had engulfed her completely, “No bloody thing is fine! If you think I’m blind, or stupid enough to believe that lie then I’m sorry to inform you that you’re mistaken!”

“Well what do you want from us then?” yelled Nandita’s father, now having lost his temper too.

“That’s not the way Rajeev-” started her mother, only to be interrupted by Nandita again.

“Go get a goddamned divorce if it’s so hard for you to live together!” shouted Nandita, and clapped her hands together, as if doing Namaste, “And for god’s sake, spare me this misery!”

And with that, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, tears running down her cheeks.

_____________________________

“Kyun boss? Ek chai ke paise kab se bad gaye?” I asked in the typical hindi flare. These people, in spite of being strangers, seemed close. The shopkeeper, the chai wala kid, the usual hustle-bustle of crowd, the paan-wale uncle – they were all people who gave me company when I felt sad and depressed, even if they did it unknowingly. For someone like me, someone for whom the word ‘friend’ was synonymous only with Nandita, this company was like heaven.

“Kya kare madam, aate-daal ka bhaav jabse sarkar ne badaya hai, paise ki haye haye samjho roj ka chakkar hai” replied the little kid who usually served as the ‘waiter’. I smiled and said, “Bhartiya sarkar hai, paise badaane ke alaawa aur kuchh kar bhi sakti hai?”

And we all shared a good laugh about the Indian government. It had been one hour since I came here, and as per my word, I should head back home now. But mom knows better, she knows that I won’t return for another hour or so. Smiling, I took my cup of tea and walked back to my car. Unlike other customers, I liked to have tea in my car itself.

I closed my eyes and allowed my mind to wander back to the one Alateen meeting that I had attended last year. My mother was a frequent visitor of the AA and Al-Anon meetings, and she had dragged me with her one day. Sitting in that group, and listening to people share their painful memories did give some solace. To know that perhaps you’re not alone in the world, is a great feeling to have, but that one meeting also brought back harsh memories. Memories that haunt me every time I discuss anything alcoholism related. I knew that it was my drawback, because I had never faced it head on, it always threw me off my balance when I no option but to face it.

I had outright refused to attend another one of those after that day. But now, I was being made to go to those meetings again. It was a good solution in the long run, and maybe I would start to enjoy them after a while, but it was the initial stage that bothered me. I didn’t want to go through that again.

As I opened my eyes, my mom’s words echoed in my mind, Let others in Naina, break your wall, and see how many others are exactly like you...

Part 9

Nandita and Vivek are still laughing. The urge to shout 'STFU' is stronger than ever. Something gave me the impression that Ayush had the same feeling, because he suddenly said, "Err, guys, do you both value your ass?"

Nandita and Vivek struggled to stop laughing as Vivek said between short laughs, "What do you mean?"

Ayush gave them a smirk and said, "Because if you both don't stop laughing now, I am going to kick your ass"

He said with such sarcastic calmness that I couldn't help but grin. But instead of calming down, they doubled over in laughter and rolled on the floor with their hands on their stomach.

******************

We're now sitting in Nandita's sitting room, sipping our coke. We finally decided to include International mathematicians because Vivek seemed to agree with Ayush after a while, and I lost majority. So it was no point arguing.

But I must admit that the project is progressing at a terrific speed. We managed to decide what we're going to include in the presentation in one week, isn't that unbelievably fast? And despite that, we're sitting here and sipping our coke like it's our last ever day on Earth.

I quickly glanced at my watch, "Shit", I said without realizing, "I should go..need to reach home before six to turn the pump on"

I quickly got up, quickly sipped what remained of my coke and started putting on my floaters. Vivek and Ayush were looking at me with baffled expressions. "What pump?", asked Vivek.

"Paani ka pump. Water comes at exactly 6 in the morning and in the evening. Can't miss turning the damn pump on, will have to survive without water for 12 hours otherwise. Plus the water management people in Saket suck big time", I said

"You live in Saket too?” said Ayush

I looked up at Ayush, clearly surprised to know that he lived in Saket, "Yup. H Block, what about you?"

He grinned and said, "No way, I live in J block. That's like a 5 minute walk from H block"
"Well, the world's a small place", I said while smiling. What I didn't know was that Nandita was observing the scene with a hawk's eye. And then she dropped her bomb.

"Hey Ayush, how're you going back home?” she asked suddenly.

He shrugged, "Dunno. Probably an auto"

"Naina can drop you. She drives", she said brightly, emphasizing on 'She drives' as though it made all the difference in the world.

He raised his eyebrows, "You drive?”

I looked at Nandita and then at him, "Err, Yes"

"Without a license?"

"A jaali license", I replied. A grin played on his lips as he said, "Now that's what I call exciting"

I gave Nandita a deathly stare while she continued to show her teeth, "Okay let's go. I need to get home in time", I said as I withdrew my gaze from Nandita's face. We said our goodbyes to Vivek and Nandita, who decided to research a bit more now that we had decided what to include, and started walking towards my second-hand Alto that was parked just next to her house.

I inserted the key into the ignition as Ayush put the seat belt on. Pressing down on the accelerator, I brought the car into motion and we hit the road.

We rode pretty much in silence, with me concentrating on the road ahead and Ayush playing around with the radio channels. His fingers were constantly on the buttons of my stereo, and I feared that he might screw the already fragile gadget. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally stopped changing channels and I let out an involuntary sigh of relief. My stereo had been saved.

Red FM 93.50 was playing one of the songs that I loathed. But to no one's surprise, Ayush seemed to be in love with that song. 'Twist' Remix. Frikkin' annoying.


Let's start some Ronauk Shounak
Let's have some party now
Let's have some Raala Rappaa


Let's have some dhol dhamaka
Let's call the dholi now
Let's have some matti tappa


We spoke up simultaneously, "I love this song", "I hate this song"

But instead of arguing, we both burst into laughter. It seemed almost surreal that we didn't agree on anything. I couldn't help but wonder as to why Nandita could even think that I could hook up with Ayush. We were as different as chalk and cheese.

He seemed to read my thoughts because he spoke up, "Why are we even in the same group? All we ever do is bicker"

"You have a point. Must blame Nandita for that. She asked you to join our group", I said while shaking my head.

"Yeah, but you know, any group is better than Surbhi's group. Damn. The only thing that the girl does is fawn over Twilight", he said.

"Hmm, I can imagine why you'd want to be away from her", I replied

He gave me a dubious stare before saying in a tentative voice, "Do you like Twilight too?"

"What? No way! I hate Twilight. It sucks", I replied quickly. He sighed with relief and said, "Thank God. I really didn't want to run into another Twitard"

"Looks like you've had a bad experience with them", I said.

"You have no idea. My sister is the biggest Twilight fan. She literally worships that Edward guy", he exclaimed in a frustrated voice.

"Uh-oh. Sorry about the tragedy, I hope she gets well soon", I said with a subtle grin plastered on my face. He gave me a 'Very-funny' expression and I laughed out loud, unable to withhold myself any longer.

"Twilight is just garbage. I can't believe people actually think that it has any literary value, or worse, that it can replace Harry Potter", I said in a 'matter-of-fact' tone. He sighed and said, "Yeah, courtesy Twitards, the future of literature is doomed. Harry Potter is epic. Twilight is just Meyer's wet dream"

And we continued to bad-mouth Twilight and praise Harry Potter throughout the rest of the ride. I can never get enough of bitching about Twilight, and it seemed to me that Ayush had alot of pent up frustration towards Twilight and Twitards, because he vented with a hatred that perhaps ran deeper than mine. We came up with various names for Edward like, "Fairy", "Disco ball", "Mosquito" and "Gay vampire". The last one was a bit of an insult to the homosexual community, but we didn't pay much attention to it since it just went with the flow.

I dropped him off at his house, reversed the car and drove towards home.

********************

We were having a class teacher's period, again. Ms. Grumpy was yet to come into the class room, and I was busy completing my chemistry homework. After a few minutes, Ms. Grumpy walked in and Ayush had to nudge my elbow to make me get up. We all wished her 'good morning' and sat down again.

Ms. Grumpy picked up a pamphlet from her table and said, "I have an announcement to make. There is a, um, workshop on 'Alcoholism amongst teenagers' being conducted in school this Saturday. It is mandatory for class 11th and 12th to attend it"

I froze when I heard 'Alcoholism'. My body became momentarily still and I was vaguely aware of Ms. Grumpy saying something like, "Varun will now distribute pamphlets about the workshop...”

I stared at the trees across the classroom. I didn't notice when Varun slipped the pamphlet into my hands. Without even having to think, I knew that I didn't want to attend this workshop. But it was compulsory.

Someone was calling out my name. I could hear hear the voice coming to my ears in thick waves, but my gaze continued to linger on the swaying trees. Suddenly, Ayush snapped his fingers in front of my eyes. I jerked back to reality and blinked multiple times.

"Earth to Naina ? Where are you lost?", asked Ayush. I stared at him for a while, and then said hastily, "I'm fine. Fine"

"You sure ?"

"Yeah. I'm fine", I repeated, knowing that I wasn't 'fine'. I looked at the pamphlet, which had the words "Alcohol is slow poison" printed in bold. How am I ever going to get through this?

Part 8

"And so I said no to them. Theek hai yaar, tumhe kaam nahi karwana toh humaare paas bhi faaltu time nahi hai. It's supposed to be a goddamned business deal, and they're behaving like we're trying to buy aloo-pyaaz here. First they asked us to cut down the price of the project by almost 40 %, and now they don't want to give us any advance payment. Tell you what, they can go to hell", Mom fumed as she paced the room.

"Did the right thing. The last thing we want them to know is that we're desperate. If you let a shark smell blood, then you're doomed", I replied.

She was talking about a client who had approached us last week. They wanted comprehensive GIS software made which would be used in the mining Industry, to locate the prospective ores etc. Mom told me that even though we could do it, it was a pretty complicated project. After calculating the approximate price of the contract, we sent them a financial and technical proposal, clearly stating that we would require some amount of advance to get the project started. Although they liked the technical part, they felt that the quoted price was too high. We re-evaluated and cut down the price by 40 %, and sent it back to them. After taking their sweet time to 'consider' the proposal, they replied after 2 weeks stating that they wouldn't be able to give us any advance.

Tension was already running high with the already low funds, expenses were being incurred, outstanding salaries continued to pile up, and the receivable payments were nowhere in sight. And yet, we could not show that we were desperate for money. Because this very mistake had cost us a lot of money (that could have been saved) in the past. Vulnerability. Desperation. Need. Want. These emotions (if expressed) can only cause you damage in the corporate world. Infact, any emotion can cause you damage in the corporate world. Because boss, there is no room for emotions in business. Only money.

Mom stopped pacing and sat down on the bed. When was the last time I had seen her smiling? Maybe last month. This month has been a ride through hell for her. I hugged her and she hugged me back. We sat like that for a while before she said, "How's school?”

I let go of her and said, "That's not important. What's important is that you need to be fed, bathed and tucked into bed. School can be discussed later"

She gave me a 'I'm-your-mom-you're-not-my-mom' look. But I had seen it too many times to react. Infact, it only strengthened my 'Shut-up-and-listen-to-your-daughter' attitude at times. I dragged her to the dining table and made her sit down. The least I can do is make sure she eats well. Trying to be cool, I wore the big chef's hat and tied the apron around my waist.

"Presenting...The craptastic chef - Nainaaaaaaa Sharma Aggrawal!", I exclaimed in an exaggerated voice. To make things even more filmy, I turned on the radio and tuned into the channel that usually played old songs at this time. I turned up the volume and an old hindi song burst through the speakers.



Hey Jai Jai Shiv Shankar Kaanta Lage Na Kankar
Ke Pyala Tere Naam Ka Piya


Ho O O Gir Jaoongi Main Mar Jaoongi
Jo Tune Mujhe Thaam Na Liya
O Sau Rabadi


I started dancing around the kitchen like a maniac. While the food was being warmed up in the microwave, I was trying out various silly antics infront of mom to lighten her mood. As the song came to an end, her face was adorned with a smile. And I knew that everything was going to be okay.

***************************

"So where do we start from?” I asked. We, Nandita, Vivek, Ayush and me, were at Nandita's place. We had decided to meet outside school to get the project started because all of us knew that school was the last place to get anything 'done'.

"Hmm I did a little research and came up with this. Wikipedia was, obviously, a great help. But there is information from other sources aswell", Vivek said while handing the file to me. He continued, "As of now, we need to decide as to how many mathematicians we're going to include. I say we include only Indian mathematicians. It sort of gives the impression that we're trying to highlight India's greatness. What say?"

And then Ayush and I said something at the same time. I said, "I agree", and he said, "I disagree"

I looked at him in a 'what-the-hell' kind of way and said, "Why not ? He has a point. Besides, the world owes alot to India for it's contribution to mathematics. I think we should focus on India"

He sighed and said, "Yeah okay, India's great, but millions of presentations solely based on Indian scientists, mathematicians, astrologers etc etc have already been made in the past. I think we should increase our scope by including mathematicians from all over the world. I mean, when was the last time someone included an african mathematician?"

Nandita chipped in and said, "He's right. It's the age of globalization anyway", and before she could even complete her sentence, she realized what she had just said had no connection to the discussion, whatsoever.

"Yeah, right. What has globalization got to do with any of this ?", replied Vivek. I looked at him and said, "Yup. I don't see the connection"

Ayush spoke up, again, "As a matter of fact, I do. Everything in today's world, right from the food we eat to the airplanes we travel in, have some or the other international shade. The number of multi-cuisine restaurants in Delhi is equivalent to the number of Punjabi dhabas. Our clothes are being mixed and matched every season to cover every country's apparel. Hindi Cinema is opening up to hollywood and vice versa. Multinational companies are trading with India. Our cars are german, clothers are french, gadgets are chinese etc"

"Yeah Ayush, we know what globalization is", I interrupted as Vivek and I chuckled.

He didn't seem to pay attention to the interruption as he continued, "So my point is - what's wrong in acknowledging International mathematicians ?"

"Well the point is that amidst the blitz to cope up with 'globalization', I think we've forgotten India's indivisual development along the way. I think blending our culture with other cultures is a wonderful thing, but what's going wrong is that in the process, we've started demeaning our own culture. Given our background as slaves, it is in our genes to always uphold the western culture higher than our own. Right from cricket to english, both our given more importance than hockey and hindi", I said, now completely in my 'nerd' persona.

And in no time, the project was completely forgotten. Ayush and I were now absorbed in a heated argument about 'US sucks or not', with me taking the 'It sucks' stand, and him taking the 'It doesn't' stand. How we went from Globalization to this topic is unknown, but it seemed to happen spontaneously without either of us realizing it. Nandita and Vivek were reduced to being the audience witness to this verbal war. In the middle, they kept saying "I agree", and that's about it. Vivek was with me and Nandita was with Ayush. It seemed like one of those episodes of "Seedhi Baat" that aired on Aaj Tak.

Our debate was brought to a halt when Nandita's mom knocked on the door and said, "You guys need to keep it low. I can't even hear what my friend is saying over the phone"

Vivek and Nandita burst into laughter and Ayush and I stared at eachother sheepishly. Finally, we both seemed to agree on one thing - If Vivek and Nandita didn't stop laughing now, we would pounce on them and sew their lips permanently.

Part 7

Ayush nodded and walked towards us. I had a hint as to why Nandita had done this on purpose. She was trying to bring Ayush and me closer. Damn, what's her problem ? I love her, I really do, but sometimes she can get way too intrusive.

"Okay, so now we have all the groups ?", our maths teacher said. The class nodded in consent and the teacher wrote down everyone's name. I was still looking daggers at Nandita for doing this. Great, now we're stuck as a group for a month and a half. Brilliant. I can already imagine myself strangling Nandita to death.

My thought process was broken by our teacher's voice, "Okay, so I want you all to discuss and tell me the topic of your project. You can choose any topic from either your maths book, or any other theme related to the field of mathematics. You all have to prepare a powerpoint presentation and a chart depicting the summary of your project. The powerpoint should have a minimum of 30 slides"

The entire class groaned. 30 slides is really no joke, and considering the number of ppt's we've made this year, none of us wanted another one to be added to the list. Our group sat down together and started discussing. We all agreed on one thing - The topic should be simple and easy. No complication.

"I think we should take up 'Historical mathematicians', that's the easiest of the lot", I said as soon as we sat down.

"Yeah and boring as hell", said Ayush, "We'll want to dump this theme halfway through. There's no fun there"

"Fun is not on our priority list Ayush. We need to get this stupid thing done as soon as possible. And I'm not interested in killing my head for 1 and a half months over this useless project", I replied in a slightly annoyed tone.

"Yeah ? Then why are you even doing it?", he was beginning to get irritated too.

"What's the alternative ?", I replied, now completely irked at his 'I-wanna-be-a-good-student' attitude.

"Calm down guys. Relax", chipped in Vivek, "Jeez. We've not even started doing anything, and you guys are fighting already"

I sighed and mumbled, "Whatever". Ayush kept quiet too. Nandita's gaze flickered over both of us for a while before she said, "Okay. Let's do this. Let's write down our choices on small chits and jumble them up. We'll pick out a chit and whatever topic comes out, we'll take it. Okay ?"

We all nodded in consent as Nandita fished out her notebook from her bag. She tore a paper and then tore it again in smaller pieces. We all wrote down our choices, and since I was miffed already, I chose to be adamant and wrote down 'Historical Mathematicians' in bold with my permanent marker. Nandita gave me a 'Stop-being-kiddish' look, but I didn't pay much heed to her.

All the chits were then jumbled up properly. Nandita extended her hand and picked out one. She paused before saying it aloud, "Um, Historical Mathematicians"

"Ha!", I exclaimed before I could stop myself. A grin played on my lips as I gave Ayush a victorious look. I was being extremely childish, and I didn't know why, but it felt good to know that my topic had been chosen. Ayush's shoulders slumped. I wasn't done, I really wanted to rub this in his face, "Fair enough Ayush. It's not like my suggestion was given extra preference, right ?"

He glared at me and said, "Fine. Let's do it"

I arched an eyebrow and nodded, "Finally"

We informed the teacher about our topic and decided to start working on it from the next week onwards. Since I was the well known powerpoint maestro, it was decided that I would be the one handling the presentation. Ayush was good at calligraphy and art, so he decided to take up the chart work. Nandita and Vivek offered to do all the research work.


As the last class got over, Nandita and I decided to go for a little chuski treat (A small stall was right next to our school) before heading home. I needed to talk to her about certain things. We sat down on the small wooden stools next to the stall. Few minutes passed before I said, "Mom's a little worried. There's, uh, a little financial problem going on"

She looked at me and said, "Hmm, I guessed. You seem a little off since the last few days"

"Yeah, everything's just not falling into place. I don't know what to do", I replied in a softer voice. Nandita simply leaned forward and took hold of my hand. She nodded empathetically at me. It wasn't the first time I was sharing the fact that our financial condition was rocky with her. And somehow, she always understood. It was something I was extremely grateful about.

I took a deep breath and said, "Dad called. He just discovered his new passion - Online poker", and our faces broke into a smile at that. My dad was not just my dad, he was also my buddy. We were really more like friends. He wasn't the 'I-wanna-protect-my-daughter' type father, he was the 'Find-your-own-way' kind of dad. Infact, once when I was a kid, I fell down while skating and hurt myself pretty badly. He just stood outside the ring, giving me a sheepish grin. I had to ultimately stand up on my own. After the practice, he had said to me, "See, that's why you're different. You don't need your dad to stand up on your feet. You can do it on your own"

"Uncle's always been quite the fun guy", said Nandita. I nodded, "Yup. Can I say something really nasty ?"

She shrugged. I smiled and said, "Divorced parents are the best parents in the world"

"Uh, Tell me about it. My parents keep bickering all the time. For no reason. You're right, you know", she replied while making a face. I laughed at her expression and shook my head.

"What ?", she asked with a blank expression. "Nothing", I said and got up, "Let's go. It's getting late"

She nodded and got up. We were about to leave when I suddenly stopped and turned around. She jumped slightly and staggered, "Shit. Naina. Are you nuts ?"

"And what the hell was the whole morning drama about ?", I slipped into my angry demeanor and barked at her. She still had the blank expression on her face, "What drama ?"

"Don't act innocent. Why did you ask only Ayush to join our group ?"

Then it seemed to hit her. Her face relaxed in realization for a moment, "Oh that", and the next moment she had a nonchalant expression on her face, "Nothing. I want you to be his girlfriend that's all", and with that, she walked past me, leaving me with my mouth agape.

I quickly regained my self-control and started walking. I'm going to kill her.

Part 5

"Are bhaiyya, tez chalao na! ye koi bailgaadi hai kya ?", I holler at the autowala. I am on my way to the market to buy some stuff for the house. And as always, I am running on a pretty tight schedule. This goddamned autowala is moving at a snail's pace. The traffic isn't as thick as it generally is at this time, and yet he's taking his sweet time to hit that blasted accelerator.

"Madam ji, tez hi to chala rahe hain, aur kitna tez chalaoon ?", he replied in a nonchalant way in a tone that implied I-don't-give-a-shit.

I frown and say, "Haan tum toh humein uda kar le jaa rahe ho na ? Ab tez chalao, mujhe late ho raha hai"

He mumbles something to himself and doesn't reply. I cross my arms and look outside. Should have taken the car, but then remembered that there was no petrol in it. And considering how we're counting every penny these days, I didn't have 300 bucks for petrol at this moment. Sighing, I shake my head and continue to look outside.

When we finally reach the market, I quickly hop out and pay the autowala. Running inside the market, I fish out the 'To-do list' from my jhola and quickly read through it. Time to get into action..

*********************

My mom is really a fun person to be with provided that she's in a good mood. She's watching some old english film on TV and I'm sitting with her, hoping that she'd change the channel soon. It's sunday, so she doesn't have to work. I'm not demanding because today is the only day she gets time to relax. During the weekdays, she's just too tired to turn the television on and watch some saas-bahu saga. Plus, she's not the one to watch that crap. (Something that I'm immensely proud of. We tried watching Balika Vadhu once, but ended up in splits)

"Mom, what's this film about ? We've been sitting here since the past 1 hour but nothing's really gone into my head", I remark.

"It's classic! How can you not like it ? To hell and back is one of the finest films made on World War II", she replies in an excited voice.

I roll my eyes and sigh. Generation gap. Jeez.

"School's not been treating me well. Got stuck with Ms. Grumpy for not completing physics assignment", I say, casually.

She nods, "I'm proud of you"

I can't help but smile at her 'Let-school-go-to-hell' attitude. I can't express in words how relieving it is to know that atleast my mom doesn't pressurize me.

"Yeah, but I'm screwed"

"You're getting there, sweetheart"

I grin and shake my head. Mustering up my will power, I turn my head towards the TV screen again.

************************

"What the...??", before I can help myself, these words come out of my mouth. We're having a class teacher's period today, which means we will have to put up with our new partners for another 1 hour. Although I don't mind Ayush, I'm kind of missing having Nandita by my side.

I scowl a little and flop down into my seat. And yet again, we exchange 'Hi's' and 'Hellos'. He goes back to his math homework, which reminds me, I need to get that done too. I take out my register and take a quick glance at what Ayush is copying from.

"Do you mind if I share that..um, Varun's register ?", I ask. He shrugs in approval and continues doing his work. Varun is the geek of our class, and since the release of 3 Idiots, he's been labelled as 'Silencer'. I feel that's an insult to Chatur's character, or perhaps I'm being biased because I loved that guy.

I silently get to work. There are about 10 sums that need to be done. I haven't even done one. I hate this. I don't see the point in doing homework. If you can't 'educate' us enough in 6 hours, then I don't see how another hour at home will make things any better.

When 15 minutes were left for the bell to ring, I let out a breath and close the register. Glancing sideways, I see that Ayush is still writing. Wow I like his speed, I think to myself. But it doesn't take long for him to close his own register.

"What's the first class ?", he asked.

"Physics"

"Darn. I hate that woman. She makes physics so hard to understand", he replies. And the floodgates open. In no time, we're dissing Ms. Grumpy in whichever way possible. Right from cheap jokes to hindi gaalis, we're indulging in hardcore bitching. It seriously feels good, because I love bitching about that woman. Any time. Any day.

The bell rings and we reluctantly stop laughing like maniacs. Trying my level best to wipe the grin off my face, I purse my lips together and stand up as she walked into the class.